How to Have a Joyful Marriage – Part 3: Have Fun Together

The last couple of weeks we’ve been discussing how to have a joyful marriage. God created marriage and intended from the beginning for us to enjoy it. He wants us to be happy in our marriage and have fun together as a couple.

We’ve already looked at some of the ways Solomon–who is considered to be one of the wisest men who ever lived–tells us to find this happiness. This is because His wisdom came from God.

This week we’ll look at two more passages from Solomon’s writings that provide wisdom for our marriage. They both come from the Song of Solomon. This book of the Bible specifically provides teaching from God for married couples.

Let’s first go to Song of Solomon 1:2-4:

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers. We rejoice and delight in you; we will praise your love more than wine. How right they are to adore you!”

When Sabra and I first began dating, and even into our early marriage, I remember how exciting it was just to hold her hand. And a kiss would send off those proverbial fireworks inside me. Once while walking hand-in-hand early in our dating life a man came up to us and said, “Aw, how I love to see young love.”

We hear that this kind of excitement and fun doesn’t last, that it wears off over time. But it doesn’t have to. And God doesn’t want it to come to an end.

That’s why He instructs us in Song of Solomon 1:2: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.” The physical act of sex is wonderful between a husband and wife. But a kiss can be wonderful and special, too.

My wife loves to watch Hallmark movies. Especially the love stories. I could honestly live without most of them. But I watch them with her because she enjoys them so much, and they are mostly cute and clean. One thing I’ve noticed is almost all Hallmark romance movies end alike…with a passionate kiss between the man and woman.

A number of studies show that romantic relationships begin with a desire to be with the other person, often in a group setting. This is soon followed by spending time together alone, and then holding each other’s hand.

This holding of hands is usually the first official sign that this relationship is more than just a desire or feeling. It is the real deal. It is sort of a declaration that the two are now a couple. This first act of intimate contact is a declaration that this person is special…chosen. It communicates that the two are now operating as one unit. A first step of sorts to the goal of marriage according to God—oneness. (See Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:7-8).

Holding hands will eventually lead to the kiss. The kiss is the first very intimate way you tell your partner you are truly and deeply connected to each other. No matter how long you are married a kiss continues to speak this message loud and clear.

So don’t stop holding hands with each other. And never stop kissing.

It still excites me when Sabra and I are walking together and she reaches over and takes my hand. And when she takes a moment to kiss me, it fills me with joy and happiness.

The next passage that tells us what we can do throughout our lives to have a joyful marriage is found in Song of Solomon 2:10-13:

“My beloved spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. 11 See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. 12 Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land. 13 The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.’”

God tells us here to go places and do things together that bring you joy and happiness.

The description in this passage is of a beautiful spring day. Perhaps you prefer a hot, sunny summer day. Or maybe a cold, snowy winter day is your delight. But there is beauty and joy to be found in every season. Whatever your preference regarding the time of year and the weather it brings, get out and enjoy God’s creation together. It’s a wonderful way to fill your marriage with joy.

Sabra and I like all the seasons, but we particularly look forward to crisp, cool, fall days. We like taking autumn walks, holding hands, watching the squirrels gathering nuts, and seeing the beautiful colors of leaves on the trees. It’s always a sweet and special time.

In every season, follow God’s encouragement to enjoy your spouse and your time together. (See Proverbs 5:18; Ecclesiastes 9:9). Commit your lives and marriage to Him. Follow the truths found in His Word, and you will have a happy, joyful marriage.

Begin with the promise we find in Psalm 128:1: “Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.”

Trust the promise God gives us in Psalm 16:11: “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

Julian of Norwich, the 14th century English theologian, wrote: “The greatest honor we can give Almighty God is to live gladly because of the knowledge of his love.”

We must begin by committing our lives and marriage to Jesus. Once we have that genuine knowledge and assurance of His love for us, we can genuinely love and enjoy each other.

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♦  Read this week’s teaching together. Discuss what you learned from it. Discuss how you can apply what you learned to your marriage.

♦   Are simple things such as holding hands and kissing still a part of your relationship? If they are not, start making them a part again. This is not something you have to plan. Think of other ways you can show affection to one another. I assure you based on the Word of God that it will improve every part of your marriage.

♦   Discuss things you would like to do together as a couple. These should be things that are just to have fun together. God wants us to serve Him together. But He also wants us to have times where we just have fun together. These don’t have to be expensive or elaborate things. Some of the most enjoyable activities don’t cost a penny.

♦   Close your time together by praying together. Ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit, and bring the joy to your marriage that only He can provide. Ask Him to help you follow through on ways that you have discussed that will bring joy to your marriage.

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Until next week, may God bless you and your marriage in all His wonderful ways,

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Photo by Inna Lesyk on Unsplash (CC0), cropped/text added.



About David Penley

A devoted husband and father, former pastor and seminary professor, who longs to grow closer to the likeness of Christ each day and share God's love and truth with everyone.