“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…” – Hebrews 10:24-25
Remember when you were dating? You spent lots of time together talking, desiring to learn more about each other. Your schedules were probably busy, but you always rearranged things to get together. And though you might have a disagreement now and then, you worked through it with the desire to grow closer.
Can you say things are still the same today? Or do you miss those days?
Are You Lost in the Shuffle?
Once we’re married, it’s easy to get comfortable and lazy in our relationship with each other. Comfortable can be a beautiful thing. But it can also lull us into thinking we don’t need to work to stay close and grow closer. And that thinking will get us into trouble.
It happens before we realize it. Life gets busy…crazy busy. With all our responsibilities, activities, and unexpected situations that arise, somehow we forget about US. And our relationship gets lost in the shuffle.
It’s not that we don’t care. We do. We want to remain close—to grow closer. But it’s so easy to just take care of the urgent things and there’s little time left at the end of the day…which turns into a week, a month… years. Pretty soon we notice we’ve drifted apart. We’re not as close as we once were. And we wonder what happened.
What Every Couple Needs
Time for each other will never happen if we don’t make it a priority and schedule it. We did it when we were dating. And we need to do the same now that we’re married.
Many couples have a regular “date night.” Going out together like you did when you were dating is a wonderful way to keep the romance fresh and alive. And we encourage you to do this.
But to build a strong marriage that’s able to weather the storms that come your way, you also need time alone together each week to connect on a deeper level.
A Simple Weekly Plan to Stay Close
A marriage has to be nurtured like a garden. What is beautiful and lush today can quickly become withered and full of weeds tomorrow without tending.
One simple way to do this is what we call Couple Connect. It is a time to come together each week, just the two of you, to share your hearts and thoughts and feelings. A time to plan your week, to talk about issues you’re dealing with, decisions that need to be made, and to seek God as one. This time spent together just might be the most powerful you can spend as a couple each week.
Couple Connect is cultivation for your marriage. It’s spending time working on the garden of your relationship—watering and feeding, trimming and weeding—to keep it healthy and beautiful.
Of course, not all marriages are lush and beautiful right now. Some may be neglected and pretty messy. But even the most problematic marriage can be transformed into something wonderful when extra time and care is given to it.
In the beginning, it might seem a little uncomfortable. Especially if you have neglected your relationship for a while. But if you make the effort and seek to grow closer (to each other and the Lord), your marriage will grow stronger and healthier. This special time together will be something you look forward to and enjoy.
How to Design Your Own Couple Connect Time
The simplicity of Couple Connect is in its purpose. The goal is to bring you closer together as a couple and keep you close for a lifetime–to each other and to the Lord.
When and where you meet together each week and what you include in this time is entirely up to you. There is no step-by-step process. You design it together as a couple, based on your needs and desires, keeping the above goal in mind.
We’ve written this little document to help you design your own Couple Connect time.
UPDATE: We now have a free ebook for Couple Connect with an expanded Couple Connect Designing Tool to help you customize your own Couple Connect time. Just click here to download your free copy:
Couple Connect – A Simple Weekly Plan to Stay Close for a Lifetime.
So what do you think? Are you ready to connect with your spouse on a deeper level? Are you looking for a way to grow closer together and work through the crazy schedules and unending difficulties that come your way?
We encourage you to give Couple Connect a try. It has been a powerful tool in helping us stay close in our marriage. And we know it will be helpful in your relationship as well.
Do you already have a scheduled time like this? If so, please share with us in the comments below how it has impacted your marriage. We’d love to hear your story.
Grace and peace to you,
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.